Ω some thoughts on love Ω

a couple short poems I wrote today.

morning awakenings

it's 1:42 a.m.

& i'm thinking of you 

again. 

oh,

wait a sec. 

the thought of you

never left. 

masked

we were friends 

then lovers 

and that came to an end 

i was angry 

i was broken 

i could not comprehend 

but we talked 

and laughed 

and again became friends 

but it's difficult

it hurts 

but I know how to pretend 

i still have feelings 

and I want 

to be more than friends 

again

-Riley

•CΔΡΤΙVΕ•

Captive 

The throbbing pulse of the silence

Made immune to the deadening enclave of walls of stone

In this captivity, but one soul exists 

And calls this asylum her home

One lives and soundlessly breathes here 

Alone, with no creature around 

But she can hear the noises of her demons

How achingly and relentlessly they pound

Enslaved to the words and reckless abuse 

Each day she surrenders her shattering life

To the bloodthirsty demons around her

Enhancing and craving her strife 

This embodiment of desolation 

Recaptures her each day with its arms

Like a thief who thinks he owns her 

After the Others produce her harm

She's trapped here in this place 

Yearning each day for deliverance 

Holding onto what little hope remains 

That just One will not show indifference 

If  she continues listening 

To the demons around her and in her head

Soon, she may surrender to them 

And lie, in her entrapment, dead. 

Silently and slowly, the walls around her thicken 

A way of extrication seemingly unattainable 

But just outside of her concrete prison

Enters a way of once again making her sustainable 

Her barrier is slowly dissipating 

As one attempts to break her walls

Telling her of a Savior above 

A way of rescue from her fall 

Instead of plunging further into darkness

Surrendering to her own captivity 

She slowly ascends through the help of a Savior 

And finally sees His light, allowing her to be free 

-Riley 

(Copyright 2013 Riley Griffin) 

F O C U S

She shifted impatiently once again in her desk as she inhaled sharply. As usual, her thoughts were dashing and dancing around in her head, seizing the attention she should probably be using for her present class. What class was she even in again?

Her contemplation reflected back to yesterday’s interactions with different people; primarily the ones with boys. Memories of the past had her concentration locked in and lingering on previous words spoken, feelings experienced, stolen glimpses of people with whom so many elements of their relationship had changed. Memory released her from his anguishing clutches, but it was only for a brief instance as Wanting lured her in.

A thief can only acquire what already exists, and Wanting possesses the auspicious ability to not be known as a thief, but producing potential desires. Scenarios and yearnings echo relentlessly throughout her head. The incessant questions and “What if-s?” of the future have Wanting greedily inhaling this with satisfaction. Playing with her ever-changing emotions, Wanting decides the time of his visitation has been adequate, and he vanishes with a content smirk on his face.

She abruptly jolts, with a profound realization of her return to the present. Noticing words scrawled carelessly on the whiteboard in front of her, she exhales unevenly, picks up her pen, and copies down the meaningless definitions. 

***
In the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, there is a theme about the Past, Present, and Future. Letter 15 says:
"In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time - for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays... Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead" (76).

The passage above that I wrote is heavily based off of my own current situations. The idea of personifying Memory and Wanting originated directly from a book I just finished reading entitled, Some Quiet Place by Kelsey Sutton, where she personified emotions. (An amazing book, I might add!)

I find myself, lately, constantly full of worry, hardly ever at peace. My emotions experiencing peaks and troughs incessantly throughout each day. It's when I go to my Bible that I really experience the peace God gives to us when we ask. I'm in a devotional plan currently called, "Be Blessed", on the Bible app on my iPad, and every scripture seems to relate and give me the encouragement I need for the previous experiences of the day.

Our focus should be directed on living a Godly life, and we should not be distracted by the things of this world. God has blessed me with a great life, and I know I can always turn to him for comfort.

-Riley